"The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior

  • "The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior rendition," she spat, vehemently showering biscotti crumbs all over her rapt group of disciples. "Tom and Jerry? More like Uncle Tom
  • meets Jerry Seinfeld." She spat again, losing some of her teeth with the biscotti crumbs. "'What is the deal with this cabin?'" she mocked. "What's the deal with these deals?"
  • It was the sad science of studying old Seinfeld routines that she'd fallen into. Some called it the brown study.
  • As she contemplated her obsession with watching Seinfeld, she understood she was losing touch with reality. She began thinking she was Elaine and starting "GET OUT" & shoving her
  • doppleganger into the cardboard simulacrum of herself her other self had ordered from Zazzle. "Am I Elaine, or am I Julia-Louise Dreyfuss?" she simpered. Kramer appeared softly,
  • "I am not sure. It depends on the light. In the fluorescent blue light, you look like Elaine. In the white fluorescent light, you look completely different." "What? The blue light
  • is just the same as white light, and I'm Elaine no matter how you look at me!" I shook my head. "No, you're not. Not anymore. Something's wrong, ever since we visited those caves
  • they've been stuck together like glue with rubberbands. One day they'd enjoy a visit to Niagara Falls. Not understanding completely why her friends were honored by her writing abo
  • -ut her sick fantasy of wanting to see them go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, she just muttered "Thank you" and trotted off to find a barrel big enough for the both of them.
  • The only cooper around on short notice was Anderson Cooper. "I haven't made a barrel since So You Think You Can Make Barrels!" He said. He gave her a spare; her fantasy came true.


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