One day in class I was so bored I started

One day in class I was so bored I started eating.
I ate and ate until I could not eat any more.
I ate everything in sight. My desk. My papers. My backpack. My teacher. My classmates. I ate the entire school. Not a crumb was left. I burped. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Especially from the cafeteria food. My stomach could handle wooden desks, but the pizza left it growling in protest. I stroked my belly lovingly. "Make room for some chalk, m'kay?"
And then my belly replied. I don't mean by making some gurgling noise, I mean it actually replied. With a voice and words. My stomach had a nasally voice like Woody Allen and
a real potty mouth too. My belly spoke like a drunken whiny small Jewish man with glasses that had done three tours in the Navy Seals and dropped F-bombs like Dice Clay. My belly
was not as impressive as Mr Floppy Pants'. He liked eating lots of fried fast food, washing it down with a large cola or two. For dessert he'd eat pie, cake, candy til he passed ou
t on his bed of broccoli. Mr Floppy Pants inhaled junk food like it was a transitory fad, but his pants still fell down inadvertently. One day, his friend Mr Cogno suggested a belt
because belts never went out of style. Cogno had no clue as to why teens wore the fashions they wore. Even if Mr. Floppy Pants was that skinny of a robust eater it didn't mean he
could just walk into any old Gap and buy a shirt at a discount. I called the Fashion Police, who issued Mr. Floppy Pants a citation for a flagrant misuse of pinstripes.

Started: 2013-02-07 14:47:47
Finished: 2013-07-12 00:59:11

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