The universe has become so rife with bend

  • The universe has become so rife with bend and arc, I think we can't depend on parallel lines not intersecting for much longer, did you see that bend in the moon's orbit last month?
  • It was pick-up line I used at most astrophysics conventions. She peered at me over her horn-rimmed glasses and Blue Curcao Martini. She replied, "The curvature of orbits must be
  • somewhat disturbing for someone so straitlaced as you, she said fluently in a language she must have surmised would be one I understood, as she traced my hidden banks with her
  • forensic accountant
  • who specialized in juvenile cases. "Where'd you get those 5 bucks?" he interrogated. "Allowance." He pressed on, "Are you sure you didn't sell capri suns as individual retail?"
  • "No, I'm saving that charge for blackmail on my whoring beau." He punched his palm, becoming distracted from my queries: "Uh, anyways, who gave you the fiver allowance? Mom? Dad?"
  • "Neither," I replied. "And both." He rearranged his crotch, a confused look on his face. "What'd'ya mean?" I grinned diabolically. "They fused. We now have a MomDad!" My brother
  • let out a squeal of horror, "No!!!!!" I couldn't help but laugh, kids are so clueless these days..."Yeah, Momdads are pretty common thing nowadays" My brother sat dumbstruck
  • which was his natural condition after the unfortunate incident with the Tijuana mule. I slapped him upside the head to indicate a refill was needed. But the Momdad saw this and did
  • n't think it was funny. I remember seeing stars and some squiggly circles, but then nothing. I woke up in a Mexican jail, feeling like such an ass.


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