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The light flashed on his answering machine.

  • The light flashed on his answering machine. He stood next to it, wishing he could listen to the messages, but those times were gone. Beside it was a list of songs after his eulogy
  • had bombed at the funeral. The crowd had forgotten their grief and started booing him. And for what, for telling the truth? For opening with a really great ice breaker? All he
  • wanted was to finally get laid! What was it with the stiffs in this town anyway? A raging case of the blues wasn't going to heal itself. Well, at least not without a helping hand.
  • He looked at his left hand. Sometimes he liked to mix things up a bit and use his non-dominant hand, but not tonight. No, tonight he was looking for an actual, living human being
  • to challenge him in zombie arm wrestling - winner takes brain. The zombie would use his dominant hand, but would voluntarily
  • keep his inferior hand placed behind his back. As he approached the square battlefield, the undead creature rotated his lucky cap. Unfortunately, half his skull became dislocated
  • not great luck as you head into battle. The creature decided on a different approach, with his good hand he pulled out an extraordinary weapon that resembled a
  • three-legged camel with no toes, and pointed the weapon to his own head. That seemed to do the trick. Then, the creature suddenly began
  • to stalk the cunning linguist. He was cliterally following him through the bushes, calling his name. Peter, Peter, I feel so empty without you.
  • Peter just run through the bushes. In his mind, he think 'Who is he? Do he think I'm a fucking HOMO!' The one who stalk him has gone and he realize, he already in Playboy Mansion.

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