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There would be many times shitting my pants

  • There would be many times shitting my pants in front of or in the midst of large crowds, but on Saturday the 28th, 2012, I had the the shit that would lead to my greatest adventure
  • and boy was it great.
  • He sat back and loosened his belt. Before him lay the disarrayed pile of crawdad shells. He sipped his sweet tea and fanned his brow with his straw hat. Absolute Satisfaction.
  • Yes sir indeed, this was a particularly fine afternoon thought Old Man Timpleton. But that's when he saw that pesky little girl, tabitha across the street. He hated her so much
  • He can barely stand the face of the poor girl. She was a ratchet commoner's child. He didnt like persky little girls nor commoners. He loved rich people who never gave in to those
  • food banks or other poor-people related stuff. He loved rich people with such fervour that he married Kim Kardashian. They made love on a bed of gold coins & brushed their teeth in
  • the blood of the befuddled masses who sent in samples as the price of entry to a phony contest whereby the supposed "winner" would spend a weekend serving Kim Kardashian and hubby
  • in their mansion in Norfolk for a full two weeks. Little did they know that the contest was nothing more than a government fraud, and all the blood samples were being used for
  • experiments to generate a biological weapons of mass destruction.
  • ..............hahahahaaa!!!!! Just kidding! You didn't think I really meant that, did you? Now put down that gun and let's go for ice cream. Gawd, you are soooooo gullible!

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