23

The Return of Morag McDoone. She was a bitter,

  • The Return of Morag McDoone. She was a bitter, drunk, Scotswoman, was Morag McDoone, who got more drunk the more bitters she imbibed. Her father Mickey rued the day he had filled
  • Her coffee with salt. Disgusted, she started a campaign for the UN to make putting salt in coffee a war crime. A UN official then told her that
  • putting salt in coffee couldn't be made illegal, because that would be discrimination against salt.
  • Putting salt on slugs couldn’t be illegal, that’d be discriminating against salt. Putting poison in drinks couldn’t be made illegal, that would be discrimination against poison.
  • wait. What was I thinking. Of course that's illegal. But who cares about the law? I sure didn't, as was proved by my sprinkling of arsenic in Miss Halvor's glass before the party.
  • A bit of an old-fashioned way to do someone in but it was the only thing I had at the time. After all, I didn't spend hours googling 'gruesome ways to die' to stick to cliches. Per
  • suading my partner-in-crime Stefan to assist in this murder wasn't going to be easy. Apparently, "But I really wanna!" was not sufficient cause in his mind to commit such a heinous
  • act. I accused Stefan of making a false equivalency between a heinous act and murder for pleasure. "Really," I told him, "if you keep the focus on the pleasure the murder is just a
  • great big rush to the nutsack.” Stefan pierced his lips and wrinkled his brow, “One must control one’s urges, if not I might be coerced into snapping your neck like a pretzel.”
  • and so sang the last bird in the last tree of the last dawn where not one hankering for violence lingered, just that song, and then, the silence,
Started
2017-11-13 14:07:24
Finished
2020-03-23 20:19:28

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Mar 28 2020 @ 13:35

    and all because of Morag McDoone.

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