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Strawberry shortcake showed up at Applebee's

  • Strawberry shortcake showed up at Applebee's very nervous. Her date, (eharmony) was a gentleman named "Grimace." She could identify him because he was large, purple and blobby.
  • He had a smile that filled half his face. "Friendly enough," thought Shortcake and ordered a Shirley. Grimace broke the ice. "I LIKE SHAKES! (and you?)" "I smell of strawberries."
  • When she ordered from the kids menu and colored on the linens, Grimace grew suspicious. "Are you really 18?" he asked. "This is a date, not a playdate." Nervously, Ms. Shortcake
  • sought for a way out. Then she suddenly slammed her hands down on the table and yelled. "Repeat it in red! Strawberry Shortcake is under 18! You can't, can you? This is checkmate!"
  • "I don't know if you're thinking checkers or chess." Wally Wimbles, the Bobby Fisher-equivalent when it came to checkers, stared up at the woman yelling about Strawberry Shortcake.
  • "You wanna see strawberries? I got a few right here,"
  • the lady yelled as she ripped her blouse open, "Feast your eyes on these!" Amazingly, there were actual strawberries on her nipples. She had them hung from
  • her ears and it made for a deliciously nipply fruit salad when paired with her casabas. I'd brought some honey, coconut shavings, and golden raisins, which I proceeded to
  • knead together, slowly and rhythmically....while she watched. Ah yes, Julia was no child. Nay, she above all understood the art of French cooking. We licked
  • the kitchen bench clean. I showed Julia my expertise at the art of cannibalism when I made her into a cake and baked her in the oven.
Started
2011-09-15 12:22:28
Finished
2012-12-14 11:16:14

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