27

One day, I was running on the beach and fell

  • One day, I was running on the beach and fell into a huge hole.
  • I got sand all in my eyes and hair, it hurt so bad!
  • I started to cry and run to the water. That was a bad idea because the salt made my eyes hurt worse!
  • My only choice was to start mining the salt. Thankfully, the market for pink rock salt had grown since I first invested in Salty & Faulty Inc. I soon had enough cash to have my eye
  • lengthened and then sharpened. I aspired to be a vampire. There was only one problem. The sight of blood made me faint.
  • Perhaps I could just drink lymph instead, though I think I'd have a real tough time trying to tap into someone's lymphatic system without mixing blood in with it. Damn, this was
  • ...ahhh... I couldn't even finish my sentence, so faint was I. Anne Rice suggested that I try systematic desensitivation to deal with my simultaneous desire & aversion to blood.
  • As an accidental tourist, I lived like my pet peregrine falcon, Duncan. He had known Lady Macbeth and unsuccessfully tried to remove that damn spot. He quit as her servant before
  • she killed herself and moved on to work as a carrier pigeon for the postal service which, as a peregrine falcon, was somewhat demeaning for Duncan. Still, it was better than
  • being Head Quahog on an asteroid that no-one had ever heard of, and there was a pension plan. This worked out pretty well for Duncan until drones were invented. After that, pffft.

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!