25

That was the last straw

  • That was the last straw
  • The others looked at me. "It's the long one", said Chet. "Ofcourse it is", I snapped. Barney handed me the saddle. They snickered as I approached the ostrich.
  • Chet said, "You're stewed buttwad. Do you know what time it is?" I hated my brother Chet. But if I could get this saddle on the Ostrich, perhaps I could finally defeat him.
  • But the Ostrich was having none of it, not the saddle, nor my drunken antics. "Get into rehab," the Ostrich scolded before kicking me in the stomach. I hurled, and fell back
  • , twisting my ankle in a huge groundhog hole. What was that doing there? I thought absentmindedly before I hit the grass and passed out, surrounded by ostrich feathers.
  • Mrs. Ostrich took me under her wing. Literally, I grew feathers and was an ostrich within no time. This family liked me because I could speak perfect Queen's English.
  • But the Texans down the street hated me, called me "stuck up" and tried to make my skin into cowboy boots. Luckily Mrs. Ostrich knew karate and was able to
  • make a mean, no make that ornery, she could make one hellofuva ornery sweet potato pie that would just a quickly bite you as let it bite it. Ornery and horny were not a great pair.
  • Horny and ornery, IN THAT ORDER, conversely, were a great pair. First, get him to bed (the horny part), then buck like a wild stallion (the ornery part) and make him work for it.
  • Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... Uh, did you hear what I said? Horny and ornery? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... Well, that didn't work out so well. Don't you want to....? Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
Started
2012-10-23 15:11:15
Finished
2018-05-03 14:19:56

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 04 2018 @ 02:55

    Oh well, guess I'll just fold stories under the covers...

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