20

'Do you have any idea how fast you were going?'

  • 'Do you have any idea how fast you were going?' 'Yeah, it was awesome, right?'
  • 'No, it wasn't awesome. Not even close.' I gestured at the wreckage of their car, stained with the blood of a random biker. I had been called to the crash, and as a cop I had never
  • had a chance to use this taser, so I jumped at the opportunity. Zap! "What was that for, officer?" "Awesomeness misbranding, two counts," I replied. Meanwhile, the biker bled out
  • the motor oil and meth in his veins through a phlebotomy tube into a small cauldron heating over a sterno can. I tasered him again. "Ow! Quit it!" "Doesn't that make it go faster?"
  • No it just makes me feel like my toes are tingling" the motor oil and meth consumer replied. "Where are you hiding the good stuff?" "Relax, we have only just begun" I said
  • . I took off my boot and socks off and showed him my toes. "Doesn't it look like they're tingling?" I asked. The meth consumer then asked, angrily, "I SAID where's the stuff!"
  • "Kitchen cupboard, top shelf," I said calmly. The meth user zipped into the kitchen. Meanwhile I stealthily crept up behind him and held the socks in his face. "Ugh!" He fainted.
  • When the cops got there,they were amazed by my ingenuity. I beamed with pride & held the lethal-smelling socks out to them. "Do you need these for evidence?" I asked. They fainted.
  • "Say hello to my widdle fwends!" I shrieked, although it was obviously too late to register with the sweepy poweece. This wasn't the first time the SWAT team raided the day care,
  • and I certainly hoped it would be the last. I was absolutely fed up with their AK47s and diversion tactics.
Started
2013-06-24 17:36:33
Finished
2015-10-13 12:21:21

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