I never finish anything I Sta

I never finish anything I Sta
ve of indefinitely and that avoids failure & dissapointment. I'm envied because I'm always starting fresh new projects, the more ambituous the better. My motto is "Never finish
anything... ever!" My projects include: half of a rocket ship, 700 pages of a novel about cheese, and partial translation of Poe into Klingon. Never finished a one.
But this...this next project I am working on...this one I really really am gonna finish. No, really. Even if it kills me. Alls I gotta do is get my hands on some plutonium and
dishwasher soap, and POW! Goodbye, Queen Elizabeth! This plan is absolutely foolproof. Of course, I'll need plastic surgery so I won't be recognized by
my hairdresser. She always assumes I want a high and tight. She also follows my twitter feed. HASHTAG KILLED THE QUEEN won't allure the authorities. Just my mother and her nosey
mailman. My mom has been carrying on with the Mailman for about 8 months now. They make all these sick mail jokes like, "When will you place the letter in my slot?" I hate it.
The worst part was that dad didn't even seem to care. I had to do something so I
got on the phone with Karen. Sure, we hadn't talked in a while, but this was different because
We actually chose death by chocolate, simultaneously. As Paracelsus wrote, "the dose makes the poison." Unfortunately, he was correct. These chocolates were a fatal attraction.

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