53

"Keep left. Arriving at jail," said the GPS.

  • "Keep left. Arriving at jail," said the GPS. The jewel thief wasn't falling for that one again. He stuffed his stash in the glove box and navigated the city by memory. Jaywalkers
  • bounced off the front bumper and rolled into the path of an oncoming tram. A horizontally challenged lady in a mobility scooter was sent into a 360 degree spin. The jewel thief
  • was Joan Rivers, hence the stretch marks.
  • Joan, did you know that if you rub in a little mayonaisse with a few drops of manatee sperm, stretch marks will magically disappear? I have a manatee sperm connection if you're int
  • o that kind of thing. Unfortunately Jo agreed! NOT part of the plan. This resulted in an akward phone call to Det. Manatee requesting as much sperm as he'd like to offer. Surprisin
  • gly Det. Manatee was very generous. He asked only that he be left alone with a stack of Porpoise Porn and a few sample tubes. Ten months later after successful fertilization, Jo
  • gave birth via c-section. Upon waking, she saw a beaming Dr. Petstein, DVM, holding a healthy baby calf. Had they only informed Jo beforehand that the sperm donor was Det. Manatee,
  • she may have been more prepared to see the baby sea-cow before her now in the maternity wing. How proud Det. manatee would have been to see his bouncing baby now, if he knew. As
  • The baby sea-cow was something to behold! Her fraternal twinbrother baby sea-cow stayed by her day and night. The sea-monkeys were in the living room having tea and biscuits. Some
  • axolotls stopped by from next door, bringing a congratulatory casserole. Then a passing whale shark ate the entire party, triggering a significant downgrade in sea-cow viability.
Started
2012-12-10 12:49:24
Finished
2016-08-28 07:34:37

8 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 28 2016 @ 16:13

    Just a little biology lesson: Whale sharks are filter feeder and eat plankton. So the veracity of that last fold is highly questionable. I think Det. Manatee even visits the Whale Shark Bar in Lakshadweep for a Plankton Shale now and then.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 28 2016 @ 16:20

    ...that's a plankton shake. Plankton Shale is most likely subsunda trench.
  3. Avatar

    Woab Aug 28 2016 @ 16:24

    It must be a jellyfish, 'cos plankton don't shake like that.
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 28 2016 @ 18:16

    I'm a suckered, eight armed lover. Got a beak nose and ink squirter. but I'm jettin' on, 'cos plankton don't shake like that, no no. plankton don't shake like that. I'm a non-cetacean, mostly harmless, filter feeder, gonzo sized. but I'm diving down, 'cos plankton don't shake like that, no no, plankton don't shake like that.
  5. Avatar

    Woab Aug 29 2016 @ 13:20

    Kracken good lyrics, Slim!
  6. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 30 2016 @ 03:32

    I thought your 'cos plankton don't shake like that' sounded like the refrain of an old rock'n'roll seaman diddy.
  7. Avatar

    49erFaithful Mar 02 2017 @ 13:46

    Just happened across this comment thread. Slim is right to question the veracity of the final fold. It turns out, I made the whole thing up!
  8. Avatar

    IceSquad Mar 02 2017 @ 13:54

    And here I passed up the opportunity to invite a whale shark for thanksgiving...

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