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Sometimes relationships can be about distance

  • Sometimes relationships can be about distance -- lots and lots of distance. I really don't want the intrusions of others to influence the finely balanced stew in the crucible of my
  • psyche. I asked my astral travel agent about safe, Tempur-Pedic places for stew. "Psychiatric wards and Mattress Warehouses are popular destinations," she said. "Or you could try
  • the Cracker Barrel. My Astral Travel Agent advised
  • a vacation as celebrity lapdog. I was looking forward to being Eva Longaria's Pomeranian but due to a twist in the astral ether I ended up as Meatloaf's Wiener dog wearing a banana
  • hammock. It was Meatloaf's idea for us to wear matching banana hammocks. He thought it was funny, everyone else just got creeped out.
  • They proceeded on with their dinner plans, however, pausing only briefly, puzzlingly, in front of one vendor offering a meatloaf special with bananas foster. Out of nowhere,
  • chairs slid underneath them from the ground. The couple yelled in surprise as they were force-fed the meatloaf and bananas foster. "Facebook Timeline expects you to choose this," a
  • purple oyster said. "FaceBook is slowly taking over your life." Suddenly, the couple revealed their true form as they turned into giant vultures and ate all the oysters up.
  • All the oysters devoured, the couple stopped and looked at each other. "I didn't know you're a werevulture." "I didn't know YOU'RE a werevulture, and-- darling, your feathers
  • are beautiful." The husband morphed back into a human and began stroking her feathers. It was about time. "Who would have guessed it?" he laughed, thinking about everything before.

2 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Jun 01 2014 @ 18:00

    Astral Vacations can really give you a knew perspective. Call Astral Travel today! Operators in the ether are standing by.

  2. MoralEnd Jun 01 2014 @ 18:01

    Ass-tral.

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