The first thing I noticed, when I entered

The first thing I noticed, when I entered his room, was a picture of his sister. She died in an accident 3 years ago. It had been the epicenter of his breakdown. I had to hurry...
he was right behind me. I slid her picture behind the terrarium just as he entered. He walked in & plumped down on the ottoman. Her accident? Collecting one deadly bug too many.
After a minute of him not getting back up, I gave his now-unconscious body a light tap. He wasn't responding. Fuck. Now we have a dead guy in our house. She's gonna disown me.
“Mom!” I screamed. “What is it, Timmy?!” she snapped from downstairs. “Um… there’s a dead body up here.” There was a commotion as Mom stomped upstairs. “Do I have to do everything
myself, you incompetent child?" Timmy said, "Good heavens, Mother! You of all people should know that at age 8 my jaws could not be as large as yours. As for the corpse, how did it
get here?
I look around. Might as well get some shut eye. I used my field jacket as a pillow. The next morning I woke up dead. I had no idea how I got that way either. I did all the tests. I
checked the boxes ‘no breathing’ and ‘no heart beat.’ But I did have mobility, conscious and deep hunger. I flipped to the back of the field manual. ‘Congrats Zombie!’
suddendly i got hit by a car
As i laid there in the muck I had an epiphany that this was just a bad episode of Three’s Company and I was supposed to be a young Mr. Ferley during his stint in Korea as a clown.

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