Due to cuts in educational funding, the board

  • Due to cuts in educational funding, the board has narrowed the periodic table to the four basic elements of earth, air, fire and water. Some other changes we wil implement are
  • the languages, narrowed down to 'English' and 'Chatspeak', as well as the loss of the entire psych department, which was too vague anyway. The schoolboard thinks that these cuts
  • would save a pretty penny, and they were right, too. English was a dead language, punctuation a lost art, and when the lolcats took over, why, all of those things would
  • would be forgotten like Barney Miller or Night Court. So to preserve English and Punctuation she became a teacher. But on her first day of school her dreams were shattered because
  • the school board was ruled by an entrenched group of liberal descriptivists. Unmoved by her desire to raise standards, they insisted that all language was equally valid, no matter
  • if someone spoke English, Spanish, or even Klingon. Now with liberals in charge, those Klingons will have a chance in the world to
  • purchase mail-order Mexican food in their native Klingon tongue. The Mailman will even present your mail flan with a heartfelt Klingon greeting. The equal opportunities are endless
  • if you'll just sign here!* *Note:EqualOpportunitiesNotActuallyEndlessUnlessThePreviouslyAforementionedTermEndlessIsDefinedAsHavingBothBeginningAndEndWithTheTermEndMeaningNow.
  • He didn't bother to read the fine print & signed adding a sneaky addendum of his own. *Poof* The gentleman was now holding a pitchfork & he wasn't a farmer. "Endless BBQ means H-E-
  • P-Q-R-Z-Y-L!" Then the gentleman started doing a rather stately soft-shoe, but for having cloven hooves he was rather a remarkable dancer. I admire this "Stan" chap.


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