"Just this once, I promise to tell the truth,
- "Just this once, I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." The needle remained stable. "It was in the Winter of 1972 . I just had to get out, so I
- stepped out on the back porch. It was 40 degrees F, but that was shorts and t-shirt weather up there." The lie-detector needle thrashed about. "OK, Winter of 1972. I escaped
- Aunt Lisa's house just in time. I heard her raspy voice calling for me to come to bed. I was tired of all the sexual pleasure, I just wanted to get away.
- But she insisted I wear the shoes. Oh, those cursed shoes. I had to wear them every time she had me upstairs to "loose the caboose," and they'd grown sticky and smelly. Even worse,
- they were SKECHERS! Apparently, she insisted I wear these putrid shoes because they would tone my thighs without me having to work out. But they were clunky which is why I fell
- off my horse in public. It was embarrassing not to mention my unmentionables were now visible and everyone was mentioning them. My horse
- , sensing my unease, gallantly positioned himself between me and those who would mock my undergarments. He was a good horse. I leapt upon him and charged out of town, my tears
- running in salty rivers down my cheeks, and my lacy bloomers flapping in the wind. "The Panty Kid", they called me. I rode through the desert on my faithful steed and shot holes in
- The mailbox before fleeing in my neon yellow Vibe, which got me arrested just three hours later. The dumbest thing I ever did, and I did two years in jail.
- The second dumbest thing I did was share what kind of car it was. The other inmates made fun of it of course, said it looked like a bumblebee on steroids. I told them to buzz off.
- Started
- 2014-04-23 18:23:02
- Finished
- 2016-11-15 18:36:36
2 Comments
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Rebbie Nov 15 2016 @ 19:29
Bumble bee horse awesome! I want one!
Woab Nov 16 2016 @ 11:10
"The Panty Kid"!!!! Haw...