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First, stand with legs wide apart and squat

  • First, stand with legs wide apart and squat down as low as possible. 2nd, put the palms of your hands on the floor in front of you & stretch out your fingers. 3rd, squoosh forward
  • with your hips, back and forth, really grinding into the burn. I happened to glance in the mirror and noticed that my yoga instructor was essentially dry humping me doggy style.
  • And panting. Oh what the hell, it's Friday, so I decided to have a little fun with my yoga instructor. "Bow-wow-wow! Yippy yo yippy yay!" I sang, matching his doggie-style thrusts.
  • 45 minutes later, my yoga instructor and I were both tired & sweaty. Great workout. Plus I felt like I did something to support animal rights.
  • As I entered the changerooms, I noticed something strange. Lying on the ground , unconcious, with a bloody gash on its head was a giant M & M.
  • I locked the door hastily. As a chocoholic, this was the equivalent of a miner striking a gold vein! I drooled as I bent to lick the bludgeoned, giant M&M -- but he came to just as
  • my tongue made its way into the large chocolaty cleft left in the gigantic M&M. I was prepared to die to get my chocolate fix, and we both knew it. He shook his head and got u
  • p, grabbed me by the shoulders and yanked me away from the gargantuan M&M. A heavy chunk of chocolate clung to my tongue. I had to walk around like that for days before it fell off
  • and slowly began rolling it's way back towards the massive M&M. Turns out the giant edible monstrosity also was alot like evil T1000. Enough was enough I'd decided, so I sneakily
  • fetched Pa's truck and carted all the giant candy home. Who could refuse a lifetime's supply of chocolaty goodness?! I later came to regret it bitterly, but that's another story...

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