8

The server logs confirmed that the file had

  • The server logs confirmed that the file had been downloaded from his IP address and using his ID, but he denied any involvement. I thought about '24' as I called the boss to
  • tell him of the impending apocalypse. Trying to explain that it wasn't technically my fault proved futile, and I hung up the phone in despair. Who could I turn to for advice? Who!?
  • My own dear mother of course, blessed and saintlike in her apperance I went to her and asked, "what should I do mother dear?" She said to me,
  • "cut that shit out, I'm not your real mother." She replied. "You haven't figured it out by Now? God, you're stupid."
  • I'm actually a Martian masquerading as a morose Mexican maniac, moved by minute missions of mercy and minuscule mermaids murmuring millions of miles away. Maybe you should
  • take a minute to comprehend that. Oh yeah. That enough time? Okay. And don't try to fool me. I know a crappy fondue set when I see one.
  • "Drats! Foiled again!" shouted the evil fondue salesman, only to be cut off at the sound of a smashing window. "Look!" yelled a bystander, "ITS
  • A TEAM OF CHINESE ACROBATS PERFORMING IN BLACKFACE. WOW, THIS IS BOTH AN IMPRESSIVE AND EXTRORDINARILY OFFENSIVE DISPLAY! HEY, DID ANYBODY HEAR THAT WINDOW BREAK?" The salesman
  • ,who's head was encased in a cube of airplane glue, knew not of the surging torrent of Greek fire heading his way. Not even the salesman's massive cube of a head could endure such
  • happiness after he realized it. He sold flamethrowers all his life and was ecstatic to have received the honor of being burned alive by the CEO, as few salesmen do.

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