"Excuse me stewardess, could you get me pillow

  • "Excuse me stewardess, could you get me pillow please?" he relaxed and waited. When she returned smiling "Thank you and would you like to rub my feet too?" he smiled. While she
  • dabbed his bunions with exfoliating cream, he rang the crystal bell. "Can you bring the ostrich fan boy to the right?" He Leaned back in his chaise. British Airways was the best.
  • Except for their flight attendants. Why British Airways hired down-and-out Shakespearian actors to serve First Class, he couldn't imagine. A simple request for a blanket became
  • an insufferable soliloquy delivered by a pretentious British actors. The pilots walked around with swords on their hips. The flight attendants referred to the passengers as "Cousin
  • Monty". The no no smoking flights would wait for you to finish your duty free shopping and had no issue with passengers storing extra luggage in the aisles. On hunting trips passen
  • gers were encouraged to clean their firearms and compare fresh kills. Practice shooting was discouraged, except on transatlantic no no flights where they'd usually set up targets
  • for the little killers. The kids would pump their rubber bullets into the poor helpless card people. Rarely, a child would shoot the head and the heart, and would receive a cookie.
  • Echolatots were the judges and installed surveillance cameras in the terrarium, now disinfected with chloramine. The little killers were suffocated and there was a standing ovation
  • which ended in tears all around the terrarium. Many were reminded of 1933 and the arrows in her back, the devils dancing Texas Two Step and calling for Republic Again.
  • People wondered, was this what the two world wars were fought for? So that another could rise again? Perhaps, learned the nihilist, that humans were born to fight each other.


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