There it was! The mythical One-eyed Pigmy
- There it was! The mythical One-eyed Pigmy Giraffe of lore! And it was pathetically attempting to reach the lowest branch of that pygmy eucalyptus. I reached for my camera, but then
- the One-eyed Pygmy Giraffe honked loudly, like a goose. I froze. If it kept honking I knew it would awaken the Hundred-eyed Wallaby Monsters that were too poor of climbers to be of
- any use to get me out of this giant mutated redwood on loan from the California EPA historical tree society. I had to do something! So I grabbed my fat flaps & spread them & jumped
- almost a quarter of an inch lower. This mutant redwood is mocking me, I thought. I could n't blame the mutant redwood for it either. That is the way I would be in my home. I am.
- It's because my furniture carves their initials into my bare skin, but then, skin isn't thick wood like this mutant redwood had, and I hadn't carved anything. Nothing TO carve.
- Maybe it was time I did some carving of my own. I eyed the mutant redwood. I was searching for a moist pit. The mutant redwood notably pretended not to notice me. I'm not a threat.
- I'm just a human, trying to pinpoint where to apply my antiperspirant. "In your moist pits, you ignorant human," sneered the mutant redwood. It was then that I took my axe and
- remembered that I could respond rather than react. "You poor, dear, mutant redwood," I said. "Lately I've begun to smell of roses and magnolia blossoms. No idea why. Antiperspirant
- never had an effect on me before." This conversation distracted the redwood enough for me to sink my blade into its fibrous flesh. "Shhh.." I said as the sap oozed out, "it's
- time for you to rest. Remember these words as your last, 'redwoods are far too tall for me to build treehouses.'" I walked away knowing what I had done. Yet I felt no regret.
- Started
- 2014-03-18 14:46:54
- Finished
- 2022-12-12 18:22:33
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Toogs Dec 09 2022 @ 07:06
Lol I took a chance and it paid off.