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My first crimes twenty-one years ago were

  • My first crimes twenty-one years ago were the beginning of my quest for elegance in larceny, but I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t really hate old Mrs. O’Malley as much as I
  • hated her husband. Frankly I didn't care much for either one of them, but managed to stay professional. Afterall, my crimes were not personal. I approached each
  • of the knitted "god's eyes" and cursed them silently. They were a hippie couple and i hated their hypocrite gold brickin' asses. I turned around and said, "Heeey, far out
  • dudes. Toke me this: Have you ever really looked at your hands?" While they were distracted, I reached into their closet and removed
  • a tall kitchen bag of Buds, I left the leaves for them and split. Ha! Toker's are fools! As I walked away a voice behind me said "Drop the bag, Hands up!" ...I turned. Damn. Fooled
  • by the DEA. They weren't tokers at all, they were feds, going through an elaborate sting operation to catch casual users. I felt the handcuffs go on as the led me outside to the
  • squad car. I moped as the Feds stopped at Six Flags Waterpark over Quassy. I watched them play carnival games & eat fun food. I was left handcuffed in their backseat as they rode
  • The merry go round. My face began to get red as I smoldered with jealousy "NO FAIR!" I began to throw a tantrum, I kicked out the window and ran toward the amusment park laughing.
  • I had skipped my meds again and was on the mental roller coaster. I screamed with delight as I plummeted from the summit "no hands!"
  • Sadly this was a big mistake. I woke up in the hospital. My doctor was mad and slapped me across the face. I did bad.

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