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"the worst thing about the pizza so far was

  • "the worst thing about the pizza so far was the burned toppings", he thought as he paced the supermarkets isles absentmindedly chewing. I wish i had a poloroid camera to catalog
  • the pink elephants roaming the frozen food section. Outside the weather had turned to snow and I got a sudden chill as I realized I was wearning my pajamas. Sarah turned to me and
  • said, "Dumbo, you've REALLY got to lay off the moonshine!" I took offense to that, and, stumbling over my trunk, knocking over a bucket of peanuts with my ear, went outside for
  • for a smoke on my Black & Mild. Stupid crows. Who are they to give advice on drinking anyway. I'm Dumbo, the goddamned flying elephant. Lay off the moonshine? I could quit anytime
  • *hic* I damn well please *hiccup*. Dumbo's middle-aged beer belly jiggled as he stumbled to a leaning rest against a shady oak. Besides *hic* those crows aint done bout seen nothin
  • that don't look like no elephant *hic* trunk. Dumbo rubbed his aching middle-aged back and *hiccup* let out a nauseous groan. Them crows was gone fo' the moment, *hurc* huzzah, but
  • It was, his name was durwin. Dumbo was being replaced with a younger, better trained elephant. He knew this day would come, he was an lazy alcoholic slob with freak ears. He sobbed
  • into his bucket of gin and blew peanuts across the room. "It's a hard knock life!" ,he wailed plaintively. "Ain't dat the truths holmes." , Timothy the mouse answered.
  • Timothy the mouse then handed Dr. Evil a peanut. Dr. Evil whimpered, scooted further into a corner of the room, and gnawed on the peanut. "We be needin' a better plan," said Timo
  • That's when Timo The Middle Manager decided it was finally time to get that MBA he'd had his eye on.

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