I wedged my cupped hand between my cheeks

I wedged my cupped hand between my cheeks and THEN farted. It made a hollow noise. Then I deftly lifted my hand to my nose and inhaled the
aroma. and then I said "We are the Aristocrats!" The talent director leaned back in his chair sipping his Earl Grey. "We've seen that before. Next!" "No wait!" I pleaded. "Look at
my pearl necklace. Doesn't that make you want to "Audition" me?
nah i wouldnt "audition" you ur ugly
She cackled and said, "you should have read my fairy tales as a child. Wait, can you even read at all?" She cackled again, shimmered brightly and turned into
a raging herpe infected beast known as Kiara. She then proceeded to spit molten white sticky residue from her mouth until the infection became airborne. The world has never
known such a horrible outbreak. In no time at all, 95% of humanity became contaminated, the rest being immune. Everyone infected died. The survivors were so miserably lonely that
they took to replacing all their dead friends with finger puppets. The finger puppet business quickly exploded and stores started to pop up everywhere.
In fact, the finger puppet business was so big, that major companies, like Apple, realeased things like "The iPuppet." It was like the new smartphone. Until the day that
Google released the android Puppetmaster Thumbpuppet. The four fingered iPuppet business promptly folded and the thumb twiddlers gained the upper hand.

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