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I dreamed again of my former life as a groupie

  • I dreamed again of my former life as a groupie for the Fixx. Ah, the hair, the clothing, the music - so bad! So God-awful bad!
  • I'd follow the band in a black VW van. We painted decorated the van and installed dark windows, a mattress, ropes, hand cuffs and a personalised number plate saying FIXX43VA. We
  • dnesday is hump day," I thought, again. I loved tired office humor. It was like elixir to my heart. But I forgot that. I was a groupie now, following the band of all bands,
  • The Wiggles. There was something about adoring four year olds, bright colored attire, and simplistic pitched lyrics that gave meaning to my life. I was bound to follow them by,
  • becoming a Wig-Nut. Like the Grateful Dead, I followed the Wiggles on tour, selling bootleg tapes and specially blended pixie stix. My 6-ft frame stood out among the tikes.
  • One sunny day while I was showing the kids how to execute the perfect finger waggle, one of the Wiggles' producers sought me out & handed me a crayon note. "Meet us backstage for
  • an exclusive meet and greet with the Wiggles. I was beyond extatic! I grabbed my two little girls by the hand, and hurried back stage. The look on their faces was priceless!
  • They were terrified of The Wiggles. It was the Australian muppets' relentless & unnatural bonhomie & enthusiasm. My little girls knew they had had their souls sucked through their
  • TV screens along with some brain cells whenever they're forced to watch The Wiggles song and dance routines. Parents and children alike beware their soul-stealing powers.
  • Common sense will tell you the show is horrible, but your mind and body will betray you and soon you'll start singing " Fruit salad! Yummy Yummy!" Then its too late, they have you.
Started
2012-11-07 14:53:00
Finished
2013-11-26 01:17:32

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Sloth Nov 26 2013 @ 01:25

    I actually did love The Wiggles, until my favorite character had to be offed because of health reasons. That's when I realized the world is a cruel place. It has little to zero tolerance for bright colored men who bring smiles upon the faces of little children with their terrible acting. *Sigh* Good times.
  2. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 26 2013 @ 09:59

    I just heard on the radio Jim Henson's son trying to sound like Kermit the frog to promote the latest Muppets movie. It just wasn't the same. I miss Jim.

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