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How in the hell does someone throw out their

  • How in the hell does someone throw out their back blowing out the candles on their birthday cake? I asked for a pie. I'm allergic to cake.
  • What do I get? Cake, hives, and debilitating back pain. I must have some bad karma. There was that one time I stole a bike. How was I supposed to know
  • that God, or the universe, or whatever has a special place in its heart for cute little rich kids. The rest of my life was going to be payback for that bike. I was afflicted
  • by rickets, which left me both jittery and blood-thirsty. My only wish was that i could once again see my first pet,
  • a boneless chicken I named "Parts". She had soft feathers and would coo gently when I stroked her. One day my larder was empty and the bloodthirstiness took over and I
  • went over to the neighbor's house and killed their children. I brought back the meat so that my chicken "Parts" and I could enjoy a satisfying meal. I let "Parts" peck out their
  • eyes and gullets, while I saved the more succlent bits for myself. My chicken "parts" was notorious in the fowl world of birds for being the Hannibal Lecter of the
  • penis kingdom. Still, too late to go back and ask nicely, "Ma'am, could you please not turn me into a half-man, half-chicken for your own perverse pleasures?" That ship had sailed.
  • She tore of her caramel dipped bra, revealing a metal plate in the center of her chest with these five words: Ancient Wisdom Reveals The
  • Unseen. I watched her dance in slow circles, utterly mesmerised by the strangeness of the situation I had gotten myself into.

4 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Dec 19 2011 @ 15:30

    Who would have thought a boneless chicken could be blood thirsty.

  2. jaw2ek Dec 19 2011 @ 20:19

    I am mesmerized by cooing boneless ckickens

  3. SlimWhitman Dec 20 2011 @ 05:54

    Don't look too closely into their eyes...

  4. 49erFaithful Dec 20 2011 @ 13:56

    That is a strange situation. Quite odd indeed.

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