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It has now been exactly four days since I

  • It has now been exactly four days since I started my cashew dust and garlic powder diet, and, to be perfectly honest, I feel great because I
  • have lost a ton of weight from being underhydrated, which is another component to this new lifestyle I am undertaking. Whenever I feel thirsty, I eat more garlic powder
  • and wash it down with alum. As a result my face looks like a moonscape and I am as lonely as the man in the moon. But I am so slim that I can crawl under doors and scare children.
  • Which I do nightly. Climb under doors & window sills, looking for candy, crisps or frites anything to make me more roundy, roundy. But the fates have destined me to be thin and
  • crispy. My hair is brittle, my body is wiry. When people look at me sideways they have to squint to see me. There has to be some way to overcome this fate.
  • I was one told of a mystical place of healing called McDonald's. They told me I could fatten up in no time just by eating food from McDonald's, but it sounds too good to be true.
  • Those golden arches beckoned to me. Calling me with promises of beefy hamburgers and salty french fries. McFlurries flowing freely among the people. I could gain the weight here.
  • I rushed to the counter, nearly knocking a child over in my desperation. I pulled a $50 from my pocket and slapped it down. But before I could order, the cashier told me, "Sorry we
  • can't break a $50 like this." Red shot though my eyes. I was desperate to depart that shit-hole of a restaurant. At that moment, anger overcame my better judgement, and in a fit
  • I aimed a single punch at that idiot. Long story short, that's why I'm stuck here now. I hope the lesson is clear to you.
Started
2016-09-10 23:51:33
Finished
2017-08-10 05:38:18

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Aug 10 2017 @ 15:38

    Rebbie, Rebbie- wherefore art thou Rebbie?

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