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Spatulas were not, apparently, the appropriate

  • Spatulas were not, apparently, the appropriate gift for one's ten year anniversary after all. "Dammit!" he thought as he raced back to the Dollar Store, where he hoped to find
  • a 99 cent beer to give to his communist wife on their ten year anniversary. He was in sales so that meant
  • he'd met his quota for the month and bought his wife an anniversary gift in one fell swoop. Pleased with himself, he leaned over the table for a quick peck. Communist-schommunist
  • bloody hell, he thought. To his surprise his wife was actually Captain Jean Luc Picard, still in uniform, but with a large smearing of lipstick across his mouth. "Huh?" He lunged
  • "Who do you think you are?" was his reply.
  • My name is Bond. James Bond.
  • James Bond Schluchenbach, to be even more exact. Biggest nerd in my class. Even our dorky science teacher is cooler than me. In the cafeteria, I sit alone. Stone cold alone.
  • I sit in the cafeteria alone and fantasize that everybody else dies from the rancid egg salad that I was too smart to eat. Everybody dies but Sheri Sponible. She drops into my arms
  • A lunch lady uniform, including the hairnet for my beard telling me, "since we are the last survivors of this cafeteria, we are now the New Lunchladies! Are dreams have true!"
  • Though the grid can has fried and most of humanity was croaked, we had joy and know-how among us, and made us a great First Meal of hot-dog pizza and vanilla pudding.

5 Comments

  1. BlastedHeath May 11 2017 @ 20:55

    Haha, now I see I could have stuck with my usual neo-Victorian style for the narrator.

  2. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 21:44

    I are face shamed true. That will be the last time that I listen to my head. (probably not)

  3. BlastedHeath May 11 2017 @ 22:27

    No, it was I who was misled by second thoughts here. Carry on, wayward entity.

  4. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 22:33

    pure your path and the star in the space, your so called Sun, provide you warm.

  5. BlastedHeath May 11 2017 @ 22:53

    Spacibo, gratio meka.

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