A businessman, milkman, and a mailman walk
- A businessman, milkman, and a mailman walk into a bar.
- The bartender looks at them funny. "Is this some kind of a joke?"
- A nearby chicken leaned into the bar & looked the bartender straight in the eye. "Look, bud. I just about killed myself crossing the road to get in here in time for happy hour, so
- how about you plug up the hole in my chest to staunch the bleeding so I can get a drink. The bartender jammed a bottle of patron into the man's wounds, then took a shot glass and
- shattered it against the wall. Real men drink out of pint glasses. In that case I'll have a pint he said as his wound stopped bleeding. The bar tender made him a suicide which is a
- horrible idea, especially after last night. He was still trying to get the peanutbutter out of his ear. The whole evening must have been epic, bc there was 3 sheep, some clown feet
- and a goat wearing lipstick. He spent a considerable amount of time wondering how one would put lipstick on a goat, and if whoever did it also
- could open a line of bovine cosmetics. If he could make mascara for cows and blush for sheep, they would be beating a path to his door. Goat lipstick was still a problem.
- And Goat cologne... He rolled his eyes. He was determined to break into the farm cosmetics market. He went door to door offering free hoof manicures "You'll be the envy of farmers
- on the opposite side of the country. Old McDonald had a farm, the most fabulous farm I know!" Well the cosmetics didn't sell so well, but the perfumes and deodorants certainly did.
- Started
- 2013-08-29 21:57:19
- Finished
- 2013-08-31 00:15:39
3 Comments
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SlimWhitman Sep 19 2013 @ 08:10
Chaz, it would have been funny to write "bleating a path to his door", but sticklers would complain that cows don't bleat.
Zetawilk Sep 19 2013 @ 11:19
Bovine cosmetics: Made for a cow, but strong enough for any ungulate.
SlimWhitman Sep 19 2013 @ 12:45
"To ungulate" Does this mean a) digest and barf up 4 times?