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Once upon a time a passionate and playful

  • Once upon a time a passionate and playful prince left his palace in Persia and pretended to be a pauper. He passed powerful peers who pissed on his petticoat. Perturbed, he paused
  • to ponder the perpetually perplexing paradox of these previous philanderers. Political politeness and perennial presents had perverted the prince's perspicacity. "Perhaps
  • and then the Prince's wife shouted, "Enough, stupid stuff. I am sick an tired of your alliteration, I am your wife and I need a vacation, a failure to communicate is what we have h
  • ere." The Prince decreed "Our Lovely Lady longs for leisure. Let us lallygag in Aliteratistan." This was exactly what the Princess did not want, but a Prince's decree is final.
  • Prince's decree, however, was purple and gold and shaped vaguely like a phallus.
  • It's really not so hard to pull off with the corresponding paint colors and any elongated shape whatsoever.
  • Famous last words, I thought. These junior interior decorators...they think they know it all, think that anything can go with anything if you assert with conviction. But mauve does
  • go with pink & it doesn't go with yellow and I should bloody well know. So imagine my inner turmoil when I walked into my flat to find mauve & yellow flowers in a pink jug. Someone
  • did this. Some decorator. Someone determined to terrorize me with mauve, yellow, and pink. Someone was behind this whole debacle. "MARTHA!!!!" I screamed.
  • I heard her cold laughter from a distance, echoing from a place unknown. I spun around. A small mauve, yellow, & pink hand stamped & embellished note said it all: REVENGED. Martha.

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