70

He had just come home with his groceries

  • He had just come home with his groceries when he saw a SWAT team surround his house. The police chief stopped him. "You can't go in there for the next 48 hours."
  • "My Gogurt - it's rotting." "Sir, an Aberdare mole shrew is giving birth inside." That endangered mole shrew was the national animal of the police state. The SWAT team beat him for
  • looking like Toby Keith. Afterwards the SWAT team bought him some drinks and hotwings to show there was no bad feelings. "Sometimes everyone needs a good beating," shrugged the
  • behemoth in body armor. A record producer was within ear shot and dollar signs spun in his eyes. "That's catchy!" Two hours and extensive auto tuning later ... S- S- S- sometimes,
  • I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel -- like a nut ... "No," Albini cut in. "This is shit. Get out of my studio or I'll call up King Buzzo and have his boys do a number on ya." There was no way
  • he could relax now. Albini could feel his blood pressure rising. He needed a stiff drink & a loose woman. Rosie would make everything alright. To hell with King Buzzo & everyone.
  • Rosie 's legs were screwed on, as were her head and arms. The screws were rusted after she went out in the rain. Thus she had to be repaired and quickly at that. Albini was harried
  • as the screws in Rosie were popping. Her arms fell off her legs fell off & lastly her head fell off. Albini was too late. She had become a bomb. Rosie was set to explode in two min
  • iscule puffs of rosy effervescence in two minutes. I sat down crosslegged to ready myself. When Rosie exploded, I breathed in the scintilating tiny petals. Rose went up my nose
  • and into my brain and for a moment I believed I was that cartoon robot from The Jetsons. I was cleaning, cooking, and making snide remarks. But really I was as dead as a doornail.
Started
2013-06-07 08:40:30
Finished
2016-10-06 16:02:36

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Oct 06 2016 @ 16:05

    This caused me to chortle with abandon.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 06 2016 @ 16:28

    Say... that's catchy. Ch- ch-ch-cha chortle chortle ch-ch-ch-cha-chortle chortle with abandon, I ch-ch-ch-ch-cha ch-ch-ch-ch-cha chortle chortle with abandon ab-ab-ab abandom chortle with abandonnnnnn
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Oct 06 2016 @ 16:37

    *snort!*
  4. Avatar

    Rebbie Oct 06 2016 @ 16:39

    *Falls over laughing.*

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