When the pounding in my head got loud enough
- When the pounding in my head got loud enough that people beside me could hear it, I knew I had to do something about it. I went to see Prof. Loomis's brother, Luthor about it. His
- advice was only more confusing -- or maybe it was harder for me to concentrate with all the pounding. "Have you done anything lately that might be making you feel guilty?" he asked
- ¨Yeah...I killed my mom and then put her brain in a blender...it tasted kind good though.¨ I stuttered.
- I thought the brain was the best part, after all. The heart was too thick and the liver was too chewy. I didn't like admitting that I did this, but it was a great meal.
- And now I'd like to bring these same cannibal delicacies to the vegan community, with my new Tofuman Cookbook! Now even vegetarian zombies can enjoy brain substitute dishes and
- livers, hearts, and kidneys, too. In the Tofuman Cookbook, I organize meal plans for vegan zombies. Breakfast brains made from pickled-beets-stuffed cauliflower. Lunch lungs made
- From processed Lima beans. I heard they were a great hit amongst the horde of zombies at the LA meetings (Longpigs Anonymous) it's such a shame that 90% of them go back to flesh
- within a year of completing the program. Though the lima beans were a cruelty-free, sustainable option, the zombies just couldn't resist the rich, meaty aroma of human flesh.
- People started reporting a change in their zombies. It was like the zombies were in some kind of existential pain over being dead & still feeling like they did when they were alive
- . I mean, go figure, right? Still, what the zombie union didn't count on was not being able to collect workmen's comp for being dead. That was an opposition greater than them.
- Started
- 2018-04-28 16:51:29
- Finished
- 2020-10-08 21:17:49
0 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!