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"Your band has 9 members but 10 drumkits.

  • "Your band has 9 members but 10 drumkits. Why?" "Bastions of the Mind Shield preach the gospel of jazz metal, and jazz is about the notes you don't hit. Our silent Lollapalooza set
  • the unreadable blogosphere afire with its simple intensity." "Interesting. Wow. Powerful symbology. And why does Bastions of the Mind Shield always play with their flies down?"
  • "Theirs is an arcane culture that believes playing with flies down is conducive to growing one's masculinity." Several claps at this erudition, but someone raised their hand to ask
  • a really dumb question that everyone was going to pretend didn't exist so that the stupid people would get the answers they needed not to burn the place down or increase their stup
  • idity. But it was a stupid plan. Stupid people always find a way to be stupider than any plans made to account for their stupidity. There are limits to human intelligence, but
  • not to stupidity. A person with a negative IQ will actually lower the intelligence of smart people nearby, who gape at the stupidity of the stupid person, leaving them temporarily
  • feeling like a confused sheep. Once the person with negative IQ has been disposed of (humanely, of course!), the smart person will never fully recover & will plaintively bleat when
  • you press that button right there. Yes, that one... Oh, but wait. Don't press it NOW, for God's sake! I said DON'T press it NOW! Wait until.... BZZZZZZZZZT! Mhhaaaaa, I bleated.
  • ...nothing happened. "Why didn't anything happen?" he wanted to know. "That's why I said NOT to push it...it doesn't do anything...I didn't want to see you disappointed...but
  • you did it, despite my advice. And now you have to live with the consequences. And you might wish to turn back time, every once in a while...

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