"I can prove God exists." It was manifestly
- "I can prove God exists." It was manifestly odd remark coming from a man who'd professed to be an atheist all his life, but when Gordon took me to his laboratory and showed me
- the robot he had made from petrochemical products I knew he had found enlightenment. The robot moved but couldn't talk. This frustrated Gordon who thought of making another one.
- He felt that he could detect a sentient light behind the robot's LED eyes. Gordon thought he was losing his mind, why would this particular combination yield intelligence?
- Fearing for the result, Gordon went for the monkey wrench. The robot was lightening fast and snatched the spanner. Gordon realized his espresso machine's AI was coded by Bungie.
- Bungie... Suddenly an idea struck Gordon. He grabbed the espresso machine and ran to the window. Cursing silently, he clipped one end of it to a protruding valve and the other
- to the HR rep's belt buckle. He yelled 'Team building my ass!' and shoved the rep hard out the window. A spectator on the street below
- caught the HR rep by the necktie, inadvertently strangling and killing him. A crowd gathered and accused the well intentioned man of murder. Fearful, he
- tickled his Elmo which was an evil evil evil evil evil evil toy because, aside from being satanic red,
- it was also possessed by the voices of Hitler and Aleister Crowley. Everytime you tickled it, it would say things like "Ich bin ein böser Marionette" or "Ordinary morality is only
- a pro tanto suggestion, so do what thou wilt." Tickle Me Elmo is also adorned with horns, bloodshot eyes, and a cute little mustache. Look for it at a Toys 'R' Us near you!
- Started
- 2011-05-13 18:23:15
- Finished
- 2011-06-20 19:43:32
2 Comments
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Chaz Jun 21 2011 @ 12:55
From God to the Devil in ten lines.
SlimWhitman Jun 22 2011 @ 04:44
it's not easy to pass a camel through the eye of a needle, let alone a hippo.