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I unwrapped the gum, and folded the stick

  • I unwrapped the gum, and folded the stick into my mouth. As I thought about the funeral's cancellation I noticed a new moon outside the window. Only then did I realize
  • I'd been... Swirling around, my gum flying out of my mouth, I stood face to face with Butch, the funeral director. She stood silent as a shadow, picked up my gum calmly and said
  • "Please be respectful, this is a funeral, where the dead lay, to be in peace okay. I know you like gum, and I do too, but I ain't got time, for fools like you." I gave her a dirty
  • handkerchief and told her to pull herself together. Hysterical gum-chewing, couplet spewing, dumb ass broad. She sniffled offensively, and continued: "Have you no heart, you creatu
  • re of habit?" She was right, I was a creature of habit. Every night, after washing my poodle with lye, painting her toenails and
  • Taking sleeping pills, she died and I was free from my bad habits. It was wonderful. My poodle was relieved as well. Ding dong, the witch is dead. We celebrated her death while we
  • pranced around her grave like maniacs. A few people passed us by. We thought we'd give them a show and
  • they actually seemed to enjoy it. I thought that was surprising considering the circumstances. I leaned against a tall headstone and strummed my guitar.
  • "Play 'Heartbreak Hotel'," one ghost suggested. So I did my best Elvis impersonation and the ghosts danced and attempted to clap even though each hand went right through the other.
  • They cheered and egged me on. I began to really boogie down to the beat of KC and the Sunshine band. Finally, I was excepted as the newest member of the Ghost Gang!
Started
2013-01-25 16:33:59
Finished
2016-10-27 10:56:08

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Oct 27 2016 @ 15:23

    I was ACcepted as a member of the Ghost Gang, EXcept I wasn't dead?

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