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  • From the way she said it I knew she was serious this time. "Antarctica? Now?" She wouldn't look at me. Damn, she was serious. "I'm going to need my winter trunk." "We're jumping
  • bail and setting sail to Antarctica!" At the dock, Captain Preston Walton greeted us with an icy warmth. "Welcome aboard the Harmonia. Please dine with me in my cabin tonight."
  • At dinner, Captain Walton turned to us:"Which of my illustrious passengers am I privileged to be dining with?" I coughed:"Actually, we're a pair of hobos you weirdly invited on-boa
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  • blubblubblub... As I watched the top of Bob's head disappear into the murky pond, I felt nothing but relief. To make sure Bob didn't, well, bob, I waited another hour. It was dark
  • and my fingers were wrinkled like prunes before I finally let go of Bob's head. Slowly he rose to the surface as a giggle of joy rose in my throat. But before I could laugh aloud,
  • Bob bit my fingers off. Pure agony. I screamed at the top of my lungs whilst he muched and crunched on my pruny fingers. "Terribly sorry!" Bob said. "I was so hungry,
  • & your fingers, well, they looked so damn tasty!" Bob licked his lips and eyed up my toes. "NO!" I protested, "I have athlete's foot & 3 verrucas!" Unfortunately Bob didn't heed my
  • warning, and ate my toes anyway. The good news is that Bob died this day from poisoning. The bad news is that I no longer have toes, so I couldn't attend his funeral.

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