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The zombie apocalypse came, as many dreaded

  • The zombie apocalypse came, as many dreaded it would - but not to humanity. Proving that either there was no God - or that he existed and had a twisted sense of humor - squirrels
  • . Yes. Zombie flying squirrels They scavenged the trees for NUUUUUUUTS! NUUUUUUUTS!
  • The Zombie flying squirrel infestation was a serious problem for the Willard clan. They had pecans in their blood. Grandpa Willard had the midnight watch, shotgun perched on his
  • gut, 24 oz can of Schlitz perched on his other gut (he had a double roller). Then a moment of clarity. Owls eat squirrels. What the Willard clan needed was some undead mutant owls.
  • And the best way to generate undead mutant owls was to get them owls to eat undead mutant squirrels...It was a vicious circle!The Willard clan was doomed!But Fritz suddenly came up
  • from the basement with his Cheeto Ray Gun and obliterated everything in sight in a bright flash of neon orange. Those undead mutant owls would raid his fridge no more.
  • He lifted a lifted a fake-cheese coated owl thigh and took a delicious bite. "Honey, I made dinner!" He shouted. Protein was in short supply since the snack food companies had
  • started substituting with sawdust. His wife looked over with glee and replied "Finally, I have been looking forward to your famous baked owl. I received a letter from Bianca saying
  • you finally decided to stop touring. I am so relieved! It is defintiely time for you and Mick to hang it up once and for all." Patti Hansen then added,"Now, about that baked owl...
  • " She didn't understand that Mick and Keith were Kentish lads and baking road kill is traditional fare in Kent. It's what gives them their lovely complexions. Try it and see!

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