Finished Folds (281—300)
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4He planted a paw on one side of the pepper shaker and spun it around. Unstable, he found it easy to kick over, sending pepper into the cat's eyes. The mouse pulled a toothpick from
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2From inside the dragon's maw, her pipe raged a blue fire, guiding her way down his throat. She'd been waiting for this. Her brother was in here somewhere. Flames encircled her
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0half my paycheck for ten years and then shacked up with an "artist" who needed her to support his weight on the new bed I'd bought her right before she served the papers. I laughed
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2brother's foot. He jumped, pushing me onto the disco floor and into Ferdie's surprised grin. "I had no idea!" she screamed, stamping on my foot and swinging me between her legs
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3But not only your wife. As it turns out, your house is worth a little more than expected & the bank is a pack of ravening wolves. I'll need your kids, dog & car to stop foreclosure
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1She screamed on pain as her tail disintegrated in the fire. Her skeleton melted as the electricity burned through her. Plastic smoke wafted upwards. A living kite, dying on wires
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2Dean Martin giving someone a hard look was a shift in polarity akin to June Cleaver suddenly becoming a serial killer. Jerry slit O'Connelly's throat, sparing him the torture in
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1a tap dancing fool in the crapper. The tapping and shuffling hearkened back to his youth in summer theatre. As fate would have it, it also helped him solicit gay sex in airports.
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1Vick had heard there were dogs at Disneyland. One named pluto and another named Goofy. Goofy had sired three boys and was known to be good stock. He walked erect, so MMA training
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2a rope around his neck. He'd always been connected to his brother like this. Always knew when there was trouble. He picked up a phone and bought tickets to Japan on the way to
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6Joe married young, lived hard, loved harder, had ten kids, fought a war he didn't believe in and spent decades paying it back in Karma. On his death bed, family gatherered lovingly
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1forever be banished from cool. She laughed out loud. How could Steve Jobs banish her from anything, let alone a concept? She published her article to spite him. The next day,
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2drunk with a thousand fingers in his pie. That metaphor was true on so many levels he, had to wash his hands, twice. The next time he played cards there, he wore gloves, and a gun
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2someone thought it would be funny to phone in a bomb threat." She smirked. "Can't I just go in &get my laptop then?" "Fraid not ma'am'" he said. She dropped the grenade in his lap
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3to come "evaluate the issue", which was mafia code for dissolving someone in acid. Uncle Guido would do it for her too. She would live! At the border, she flipped her uncle
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3"You can't fight evil with evil" said Jim. Aubry loathed Jim and set out to disprove him by releasing hyper-virulent mosquito HIV to end malaria. 3 days later, it mutated to humans
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0drink umbrellas to kids. They were like crack, just like the little swords you skewer cherries with that kids never got in their drinks. It was better & tastier than prostitution
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4shrunken head salesmen in our pyramid scheme that when it bottomed out, it would take months to trace back to us. By then of course, we'd have new faces & murderers at our disposal
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1hidden a tiny pocket dimension. It'd mostly been there to stop change jingling around in meetings, but he'd built fireplaces too. He jerked a red hot poker from his pocket. Escape!
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0the plight of the Lollipop guild." He continued to play up the economic hardship the munchkins faced and its toll on his mom. The Idol producers lapped it up. Just then, Dorothy