Finished Folds (381—400)
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0money he'd paid for this mammoth disappointment of a house. "Thirty more years of busting my rump for -" he started, before noticing a crack in the wall. The crack grew a little
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1the betrayed the gooey center that melted at the ways she inflicted pain. He righted his toupee and then wiped his nose, which wept in sympathetic unison with his nethers. "I love
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1compete on a world stage with some of the best yodelers on a world stage? The Swiss, with all of their collegial charms, were vicious yodelers, adding extra "la's" in "yolala" as
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2was canceled, so I ended up in a rental car with a woman with those peculiar cigarettes. "They let you travel through time" she said. I thought she was being metaphorical. 23 years
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4and onto the paper, mixing with the glue. He slapped the last bits of paper from his collage over it, then placed it in the time capsule. Years later, aliens would use this dna to
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3Arnold, Ann's alter ego. Ann wasn't a transvestite per se, but her multiple personality disorder had at least one man. Sue didn't really care, but the haircuts were awful. "Susan."
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3she hit the shuffle button on her iPod and mashed the pedal but it was "Baby" from the Biebs. Her sister had replaced all her music with the Biebs! She hated it, but it was catchy.
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0and the piranha's leapt from the water and consumed him, leaving only his bones to get wet. The murderous guard above chuckled & wound another pitch. Apples flew. More fell.
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1He should've known to duck instead of going for the ducts. They were a labyrinth constructed by hvac engineers to triple ongoing maintenance costs in "unforeseen" ways. The aliens
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2down & a light cast long shadows behind my sister & her year old peanut brittle tin. In some forgotten tongue, we heard them ask for a peace offering. She gave them war brittle.
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5Then I blinked and there was my brother, wearing a blue wig, halved ping pong balls for eyes, with all the cookies in his hands. "Fucking Jedi!" I said. You're not cookie monster!
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1serious or could she really expect me to give up six more? Peter Jackson had given up that many for Lord or the Rings. Lance Armstrong had for the Tour. Should I, for greatness?
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2The CPU he'd thrown froze in mid air outside the window, trapped in time by the secretary he'd abused. She waited patiently for him to exit before she unfroze it & let it kill him.
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3At that point, it was hard to tell if they were having fun, or had been turned into a country-western zombie orgy. They reached a crescendo & the suspense was too, so broom in hand
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2It had become jaded to my lackluster performance & had filed its horn down so that it could pass for a horse and not be embarrassed in front of other unicorns, ridden by champions
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6Stan brandished the carcass at the bear, but gingerly. He didn't want to have to kill another nun for this ritual and those postmortem tattoos couldn't be done with a sharpie.
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4food. You get less salt in your food and the pepper shaker also doubled as a grinder, so you could get a finer grain AND it integrated faster with Mary's brain.They were all Marys
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4that anyone with half a brain would produce in a second. Sure, it was missing part of the second act, and the first act was a non-starter, but the third act had promise. The hero
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1The girl next door's lithe body shifted fluidly and the reflected heat seemed to spend an extra second glowing beneath her skin. His sister's emergency would have to wait 27 more
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3the ring back into his pocket. He'd gotten as far as the "would you" before the chaos of it all overwhelmed him. And what if it failed? He couldn't go through it again, nor put his