3 Folds
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toll in the lives of brave cabbage warriors making the final sacrifice. Widow cabbages and their bereft children prayed for peace, but the slug army would not hear of a treaty. -
4
I was annoyed. It was bad enough my friend had suddenly aged in reverse until he was an infant again, but there was no need for our roommate to patronize him. "Hey!" I snapped,
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none other than the Lord of Darkness, my bride's father himself, ready to officiate the ceremony. "I'm not sure about your new in-laws," said my best man, sweating heavily.
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and would probably have torn me to death (as yaks often do) if I hadn't had the presence of mind to pretend to be a rock. My rock disguise, honed in Boy Scouts, was my best
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was some guy named Frank that Terry (Dad's friend) knew from his Army days. My brother and I, along with Terry and Frank, needed to get to the Czech Republic because
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music served as the soundtrack to the natural catastrophe in his brain; Charlie Parker, to be precise. Downing another shot of whiskey, he realized there was no turning back after
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were clearly not up to par. "You call that a pelvic thrust?" the Mojomaster shouted at me, "Bah! You are unteachable. I pronounce you un-mojo-able! Your mojo is NO-JO!"
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the interruption--he knew that there would be consequences for choosing not to invite the dragon to his wizard party, but didn't forsee it showing up anyway. Frank cast a spell to
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a way to fill my car's tank, and I had no money. My last cent was gone. He was looking at me, turning a little red since my hands still in his pockets. Was I really this desperate?
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his way to the top spot in FOX's new reality show, "Dancing with the Superheroes!", completely embarrassing Batman and Robin, who were eliminated earlier in the competition.
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start over and do it right, reading and commenting on other people's stories too. I tore open the space-time continuum and leapt backwards four months. But in my eagerness I forgot
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the presence of hot girls alone affect his decision. The west offered better restaurants, and that wasn't something to dismiss lightly. West or south, his decision would affect
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for approving the shoddy designs for this wall and then making Humpty sit on it. And then having the gall to send all his men to bumble around with panicked faces once he fell.
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the woman I had seen was real, some kind of psychotic fantasy, or a glimpse at the afterlife. Frankly, all three options were disturbing. "Pull yourself together, Quentin," I said
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Not another zombie boyfriend, I thought. Why does this keep happening to me? "Honey," I said gently, "You are dead now. I just don't think we have much in common anymore."
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"There is no such thing as inherent beauty," Stu was always saying, but that didn't keep him from dating supermodels. She raged at his hypocrisy and at her own ugliness which
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looks and baby blue eyes. It was time to tame the wilderness that was my eyebrows, and I knew just the person to do it. They called her the Wax Lady, and said she was the best at
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Inside the clock he found the final clue, the one that would lead him to the treasure he had long sought. Looking at it, his jaw dropped to see that his wish had been right under
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"Damn hipsters," said the mayor, "Serves them right."
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queen friend snapped her beefy fingers and said, "Oh no you DON'T. Leave my friends alone!" The Dragon Detection Agents hung their heads. "Sorry," they said, "We'll stop."