7 Folds
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8
The south pole was one of these mounds of dirt which then froze over, but the north pole was entirely unintentional, being formed by dandruff falling from God's hair onto the Earth -
2
not concerned with whatever the note's author had wanted to communicate to him. His mind had ascended to another plane of existence, leaving his mortal body behind as a mere shell.
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3
down a deep chasm to my death. Now that I was dead, my new haircut counted for nothing and I wondered what the point of all that was. It was then that I encountered the ghost of
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5
A short, melodic series of chimes sounded over the speakers and the holographic simulation of a Whole Foods store faded away. John Mackey had passed the aliens' test of courage.
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5
Nothing was going on. It was all happening in Old Uncle Julian's imagination. We escorted him back into the house as he muttered something about a sofa army.
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1
ng a mech suit and grabbed him by the neck with its strong, metal arms. Frankie's wife had found out about his short-lived affair and was going to use every resource at her disposa
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4
She decided to turn herself into a lizard using the magic ring, to test it. She immediately regretted this, as the ring no longer fit on her finger once she was transformed.
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3
decided to hand over control of their country to the zombies after all the most senior officials in president Putin's government were bitten in a freak accident.
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Поздравляю с новогодними праздниками!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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4
and pointed to his right hip. "Give me a tattoo of Pepe the frog right there and have him staring at my crotch." It wasn't the MOST unusual request I'd had.
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4
The great bun famine of 1129 was terrible. People were forced to eat their bread in loaves, before the invention of sliced bread! Damn fire-breathing, time-travelling unicorns!
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5
However, the queen's paintings were not what you might expect. Instead of regal portraits or landscapes, Queen Elizabeth had become obsessed with painting dank memes.
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3
I was lost in the middle of the pacific with enough food and water for five years, but only two weeks' worth of cigars! I cried.
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6
Umok was just that sort of guy. Krejomar and his peeps were having none of this, however, and Umok soon found that his drink had been poisoned! He was rushed to the nearest A&E.
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6
Westley had a brief coronation, in which grandma presented him with a crown of acorns and a sceptre of twigs. He was now officially king of the beasts. His first command was...
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1
slowly looked around me. What was I doing here? Underground, sitting at a table with a bunch of raving lunatics and their pets, drinking tea. But the moment of lucidity passed and
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2
but I could not have foreseen that they would stab me in the back at the first opportunity. Ah well.
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for their miraculous advances in alternative medicine. The three witches were given free reign in rehab centres across the country, sacrificing dope addicts to Satan to cure the re
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4
as if he didn't see it coming, as the belly dancers were carrying knuckle-dusters and wearing body armour. The man laughed as he died, remembering that he had written his wife out
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decapitate orcs in glorious pixelated 2d whilst shouting a string of interminable puns over the din of battle. Needless to say, the game was a flop, though it's cult following was