8 Folds
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crying out loud, you still don't understand? A marionette is a kind of puppet, and adding "ette" to something makes it feminine. Get it? Except omlette, guess. Is there an "omle"? -
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both of their phones in his paper shredder, causing it to make horrible grinding noises before smoking and bursting into flames. Unfortunately, only Dr. Goodfeel made it out alive.
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where mouths shouldn't be, but they noticed you enjoying the process a little too much and started to get weirded out. "Umm... this isn't fun anymore," one alien said, "let's leave
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certain of it once Clown Satan appeared. "You know why you're here, Gunzo?" Clown Satan asked, pacing around the chair, "Is there anything you can think of? Anything at all?" Gunzo
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on the floor as a flabby puddle of human skin. The braces lurched forward, studying its now-empty robotic arms and legs. "Finally, I am free of my fleshparts," it said, "now I can
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swallows them whole like the small-souled cretins they are. One-on-one the anthropomorphic amphibians are sucked into the yawning maw like grapes into a hedonist's waiting mouth.
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he spent the next few years selling high-quality toasters out of a small storefront in town. Until one day a stranger walked in and said, "I know about the yam incident, Yonnie."
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stand -- that's not the kind of gal she was. "Make an honest woman of me, Davey baby," Hazel said, "marry me, and the world can be ours!" David Hasselhoff set her down and said, "I
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in their voices were apparent, but I would have none of it. It didn't matter if it was 1996, 2021, or heck, even the far off future of 2023! Keanu was timeless, and I wanted to
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He became acutely aware of the sweat on his face and palms as the eyes of others peered into his soul. His flaws amplified themselves... even his clothes started fitting him worse.
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The earthling instead set his sights to the stars. Up in the twinkling heavens he could feel billions and billions of fresh honeys waiting in impossibly thicc proportions. All for
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er than her wiry fingers had patience for. They soon found themselves wrapped around the throat of a soprano whose throes were particularly overacted. A shame, really. The show was
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In a fireball of mammalian fury, the weasel flew up, wildly shooting laser beams from his snout, skeletonizing everyone they hit. When he finally got to me, he looked me in the eye
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done to the community with his own horsey eyeballs. Knowing Mr. Ed's celebrity would win the sympathy of the studio audience, Salem tried one last-ditch effort to save the zoo:
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dousing themselves in the scent of fresh citrus. Polly went with the Sumo variety and Jim the classic Navel. Sticky from head to toe, they presented themselves to an orange girl.
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said, "but if you can't trust me, maybe you can trust ...these." She pulled two guns and pointed them at me and the Colonel. "There's only supposed to be one revolver, Scarlet! Why
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with such vivid accuracy? I've seen enough Twin Peaks to know he's a creative director, but ...wait, hold on a second. Am I a fictional character? Do I only exist in the mind of
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struggle to make good on as the voyage commenced. He tried everything: rubbing toothpaste, Coca-Cola, and powdered coffee creamer on the rich man's head. Nothing made hair grow!
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I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing -- escape could only come from within. The world around me melted away until the only thing that existed was my breath. Opening my eyes
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like a hooligan at a football game. Sirens went off immediately. You just kept running as they yelled after you. They wouldn't find what you had hidden up "nature's pocket", a