1 Folds
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point of breaking them open anyway? does anyone even LIKE pomegranates? who would design a game around them? was it made as part of some weird marketing ploy? as the questions -
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beloved bath toy the truth, but it was too late -- I couldn't possibly summarize the foul machinations of the Bath Salts Council before sinking to the tub's fathomless depths. My
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Rupert played on, his instrument feebly gasping out each note in the endless stream. The crowd had thinned somewhat, perhaps due to the fact that nobody likes accordion music, but
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or no mast, this ship had sailed. There was no grand exposé to be written about this travesty, no justice to be had by revealing the turtles' secrets. The only answer was silence.
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'hello!'" "HNGRAAH!!" "Chewie, no! That's the actual Rosetta Stone!" As they watched the stone smash through the nearest window, everyone shrugged comically and the credits rolled.
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with impunity, cackling with malicious glee as their children beheld my glorious rear. Thanks to that typo in the No Child Left "Unmoored" Act, every church was required to allow
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ies visited upon the earth by the heavens. Wait, what? "Argh," I grumbled at the half-filled page on my desk. "How am I supposed to describe an ash storm when I've never even
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only contained pistol clips, and the other breast was lined with grenades. It was at this point he realized that he wasn't fondling and robbing just any passenger, but a member of
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gigantic, tsunami-shaped swarm of tornadoes, each one bristling with the bones of extinct animals and spraying acid rain across the once-unmessed-with state. Even Texans couldn't
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bonfire, watching it roast. Who the hell would want to read about "Ricky Cocaine"? And come to think of it, why is there a bonfire here? Shrugging, I wandered away from the study,
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Determined to be the very best, like no one ever was, he set out on his new quest. "To train you is my cause!" he bellowed toward his first target, a small dog being walked by a
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a little too far, he was soon blinded as his gigantic belt buckle covered both eyes. "Alas, my fair cowgirl maiden! This lonesome ranger can no longer behold the glory of your
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"Of course Yuu will marry you, she loves you and you're...you're..." Unable to keep up the façade any longer, she stumbled away from me, blinded by tears. "What?! No, I didn't mean
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"BLASPHEMY," Larry Page screeched with inhuman fury. "There is NOTHING you can't Google!" Unable to suppress his terrified quivering, the intern coward before his employer as the
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hm hm hu ha ha HA HAHAHAHAA!!" Realizing that the psychiatrist seemed to have a few issues himself, he shook the horrid nightmare from his mind and backed slowly toward the office
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Kneeling among the sea of bodies littering the coast, my gaze drifted once more to the stars. How did it end like this? "I just wanted to see the planetarium." It had all seemed so
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Virile George? No, that couldn't be...wait! Could it be?! "Eureka! The Viridian Gorge!" exclaimed Granny. "The killer took refuge in the gorge!" Donning her best sleuthing shawl,
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douse the limb in the cold, stinging beverage. Left with no choice but to amputate, he bit down on his own left arm, groaning mightily as he swung the glass pitcher toward his
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fly, on the other hand, obviously wore no collar and was thus expendable. He snatched one from the air, plucked one of its wings, and hurled it toward the car. "HIT THE DECK!", he
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semicolon apostrophe! ENTER!" By the time Dugong could summon the nerve could reply, his ears were met by the sound of Manatee's iPhone crashing through his one remaining window.