1 Folds
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7
"Crap!" Nelson shouted. "The Sane Clown Posse is here. And they're armed!" His platoon dropped back, as balloons began to fall around them. The loud bangs of popping rubber -
2
Their dreadnoughts approached the prospective planet. It had it all--oceans, forests, mountains. "Sir." the navigator said, "there seems to be some sort of contamination here."
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4
he strode into the room, suited up, and briefcase in hand. He put his case down on the conference table, leaned forward to address the room, and suddenly collapsed in pain. When
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5
"Dad, I have something to tell you--" I began. I heard the seatbelt click and the car door open. I looked over to see him roll out of the car at 65 miles an hour.
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4
our lives. He poked his finger through the frayed opening in his sweatpants. How long had the hole been there? The softness of the cotton was incredible, but at what price!?
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2
switched the lights off immediately, leaving his father in the blue glow of the television, thinking of place where parents were in pajamas and asleep at this time of night.
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1
They said it was the second coming. The clouds were blood red and raining bats.Tarantulas grew opposable thumbs, and began to giving incredible reviews to horrible movies.
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3
She wiped the shards of bacon off a stool and sat. Looking at the pig-laden bartender, she ordered a shot of whiskey and asked, "What would you give to have Bacon Lord off your
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2
a group of teenage girls quickly picked the pile clean, leaving him yearning for velvety softness that is an Ugg. He jumped up quickly, looking for a better, safe hiding spot.
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4
My pen name, Madame Gauguin, fooled few, but the public is not yet so hungry for pages of poorly written gossip about writers. And the outfits are much more comfortable.
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celebrity underwear, pigeon on Capitol Hill, and the wonderful sounding, ever disappointing, day in Heaven. It seemed okay at first, but then it turned out, nothing ever happened.
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4
on and sat around a table with Wonderbread and cups of grape juice. "Guys," Big J said, "I think this is the last night we're gonna hang. I gotta bad feeling about tomorrow."
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4
An expensive bag sat on the counter, with the straps on the register. The bag opens and closes. "Can I take your order?" a leathery voice asks. "Uh, can I get a #4?" The straps
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3
The hurricane caused untold destruction just outside Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada. Heavy rain driven by gale-force winds combined with the desert sands creating
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2
this uneven division. He dove into the data, looking at the pieces of his previously beautiful statistics. Baffled by the shattered groupings, it then occurred to him. It was God.
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2
"Your bro has to stop acid washing his jeans." Rimshot please!
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1
Soon, gardeners became dangerous. Police reports were up about shear-carrying, over-all costumed gardeners driving around in white vans, not just trying to entice children, but
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4
The tiger loped through the high jungle, only a smattering of sunlight reaching through the thick canopy to land on his striped (pronounced stripe-ed) hide. She stopped when she
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5
Peter sat down in confessional. "In my day," he thought to himself, "it took a Roman with a sword to make anybody confess." He tried peering through the wooden screen, but the
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8
Her horrible hysterics had not hid her having howled horrendously at hundreds of healing historians. I eyed Igor, imagining 'im interrogating interesting individuals.