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• 6
  
  phrase "I HAVEN'T SHOWERED" stitched on. Damn it, that's definitely not the right hat, she cursed. She turned it backwards to hide the message, but that just made them think she

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  2011-02-02 20:26:49

• 1
  
  Poseidon tell him that he would flood the entire city if he stepped on one more lego, he knew that was the last straw. He picked up his lightning bolt and

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  2011-02-02 20:23:11

• 0
  
  but unfortunately they stank so bad that they died of their own stench and nobody ever figured out what the hell they were trying to do. That is, until

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  2011-02-02 20:19:03

• 1
  
  a trapdoor activated by an out of place book on the shelf. "Jinkies!" she exclaimed, as she went to inform Freddy and Daphne about her findings. Meanwhile, Shaggy and Scooby

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  2011-02-02 20:13:21

• 2
  
  of bullets." He had been enamored with stories of people keeping guns or knives strapped to their legs, but felt strapping ammo to his back was better. But he ran out of ammo, due

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  2011-01-31 19:11:46

• 3
  
  me. I spent all my time watching SyFy. It's like we were from two different worlds. He'd tell me about erotic monkey displays and I'd say "Mawn'ki? Are they from Pandora?" and he'd

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  2011-01-31 06:15:01

• 2
  
  the cliche remembered that the purpose it was looking for had been out of town for a month. "This can't be a coincidence." it thought. "No, it was..." *sunglasses* "on purpose."

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  2011-01-31 06:08:55

• 1
  
  well, Earth wasn't an important planet in the big scheme of things. He put Mars on his paddle and restarted the game. This time,

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  2011-01-31 06:02:23

• 3
  
  Jeff was angry that family time had been interrupted, so he swore profusely and hung up. "Oh well", thought the small green beetle, "that's just part of being a telemarketer." He

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  2011-01-31 05:55:24

• 1
  
  That's because her son's name actually was Not Good Enough. The reason that was his name was because he

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  2011-01-31 01:49:15

• 1
  
  "The Count vs Zoroark"! While getting the license for a Sesame Street/Pokemon crossover would be nigh impossible, just think of the money a direct-to-SyFy movie would

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  2011-01-30 02:25:20

• 4
  
  didn't get rich by giving away his money, and just because he had a daughter didn't mean he was about to start now, so he sent her to the poorest school in Agra. On her first day,

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  2011-01-30 02:14:20

• 1
  
  of his gun was the last thing the other prospector heard. "But not as fast as bullets," he said, as

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  2011-01-30 02:07:18

• 3
  
  they were seen as equals in terms of hypocrisy to the Democrats. The American Dream of having the right to choose the lesser evil lives on to this very day! God bless the USA!

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  2011-01-30 01:57:45

• 9
  
  his penis.

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  2011-01-30 01:52:41

• 3
  
  that he was all better now! What luck! Not wanting the bottle of cough syrup to go to waste, we decided to drink it just for giggles. And that's the exact moment I became a stoner.

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  2011-01-29 23:11:57

• 1
  
  StumbleUpon! Hopelessly addicted to the internet now, he could no longer be the one to discover just what the Space Baguettes were up to, so that mantle was taken up by

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  2011-01-29 23:09:52

• 1
  
  they realized someone had already eaten most of the chocolate. Why can't ice cream companies mix the damn Neapolitan? But the kids didn't yell at them, they yelled at me. So

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  2011-01-29 05:54:09

• 1
  
  Well, also by smoking crack, but today he was all out of crack. So he ran as fast as he could, but his mysterious equilibrium turned into a close encounter with the floor when

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  2011-01-29 05:48:27

• 1
  
  have that dream where I'm not covered in cow barf any more. Unfortunately, I was never any good at dream control, so I wind up dreaming that I'm covered in so much cow barf that I

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  2011-01-29 05:37:18