Finished Folds (21—40)
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3as it screamed for help. The child wept on, uncaring, driving his tiny fists deeper into the mattress. The bed wheezed desperately for breath, sputtered, and fell into blackness.
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3of shit. NEXT TIME ON 'RETURN TO SHIT PLANET: "Oh JESUS," moaned the captain, vomiting uncontrollably, "why in God's name did we return to Shit Planet?"
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6he had severe problems interacting socially with other people, problems that were only exacerbated by the sociopathic behavior required of his profession. His therapist had said
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1I should suck your cock." "Uh... I, uh, I'm flatt--" "OH GOD," the vampire stammered, "I mean drink your marrow! You know, like in your bones. Oh god, um." "Maybe I should just
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1it was because he was a velociraptor and constantly cocked his head as if sizing up his prey. It was more of a nervous habit, really--although his stomach rumbled at the sight of
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5from the slavering pack of North Umbrian direwolves that bayed at her heels. Their hot spittle flecked the back of her flashing legs; in seconds, they would be upon her. Moaning,
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5from the upcoming Grand Prix on Ceti Kegel VII. She shook the weather from her thoughts and hopped into her Zegglecox Industries Rapid Racing Rocket, which thrummed in idle near
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3But despite his regrets, he remained the frontman of Creed.
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1that sufficient penises, tied together, formed a sort of magic rope that led to uncounted realms of adventure. Mashing all the piercings together into a primitive cockling-hook, I
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2that they had little chance of overcoming Stalin's ally Barack Obama, the fearsome socialist wizard from Gay Africa. Frantically, they cast "Summon Long Form Birth Certificate,"
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1where, but it was hardest in The Town That Hates the Scissor Sisters. Never did they feel like dancin', comfortably numb as they were. He'd fight fire with fire, vowing to
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2she had an erotic fixation with loofahs, ensuring that no wash was ever quick and no gym was ever pleased with her custom. As the soft itch of the loofah glided across her taut
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1"That was easy," she said, driving away from her weekend trip to Glasgow. She scratched idly at the new stiches across her forehead and wondered what her sensei would think.
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2did not enjoy their weekend as much as the attendees of the 23rd Annual Urine Fetishists Convention, the hotel having disastrously overbooked itself. The green sombrero man turned
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2then John was a zombie.
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2deal with some lingering Oedipal issues by symbolically recreating my own birth. I tried to tell Lifer Bill about dynamic repression of mother-possession urges, but he just
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2discover that the Wookie had been stuffed with cocaine. Once again, my career as a drug-dealing taxidermist was paying off. Doing a quick bump to steady my nervies, I immediately
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1to live anymore. Not since they'd banned enZyte--the all-natural male enhancement supplement--and he'd lost his old nickname. He thought idly of the Doc before turning back to
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1--well, at least the bulk of it. Anyway, that's how I lost my last job. So, when can I start?"
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5really kind of an unhealthy obsession. He'd driven everyone away from him: friends, family, lovers. All discarded in his pursuit of the elusive, dam-building rodents. He knew