28 Folds
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3their circuit boards made the priest-bots an absolute joy during the holidays. Their AIs weren't fully developed yet, but they were damn good at
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1the stench. It clung to him like an wet t-shirt. There was no doubt the health inspector would have to shut down the Day's Inn in the coming days, but until then
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1tally tripping over a tree root. When he got up, he was covered in oil. He knew then and there it was the perfect spot. Claim J would be his
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4whipped out my portable shark DNA testing equipment, sliced a sample from its tail and proceeded to test. Sadly, the shark finished me off before I could get the results.
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4his mustache with the brush attachment on his hook hand and contemplated what to do with Wendy. Farting was punishable by death in Neverland, but he didn't want to piss off the Pan
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4Dutch flag whenever we sit next to each other. That wasn't a problem, until we sat in front of a crazy German at the movie theater. He yelled something about a blitzkrieg
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4into his already watered down bowl of pudding. "You know what goes well with pudding?" she asked seductively. "A whipped cream bikini!" And with that she grabbed the can and began
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5do, do, do, da, da, da, all I want is..." and then slammed the ax down through the boombox. I was sick of Gordon and the Police. It was time for something different, something
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2dead, but no one noticed. That's the way it went at these Nick at Night afterparty parties. The Overthehill Gang, as they were known, continued to take tequila shots from his navel
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5Ilse grabbed her war axe and gave Lech a kiss. "You kids are in for a treat tonight," she said on her way out, "Mongolian BBQ." Ilse's plan was to intercept the raiding forces at
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3created their own gravity. You see, whenever someone turns from human to hulk, their mass and density increase astronomically. Mr. & Mrs. Hulk were like orbiting planets. It was a
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5cheeks. It wasn't moisturizer, but it would have to do. This date was going well and she didn't want her psoriasis to ruin it. Her date thought she was trying to be sexy and began
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1it abruptly switched places with the wall. He would never get out of here if the room kept changing like that. He needed his fix, so he backed up and tried again. This time when he
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1the Mongol community mostly. Their numbers had been growing recently, which was surprising considering their preference for hairy and comatose women. It was usually the lively ones
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3Not haha funny, mind you. Causality doesn't actually have a sense of humor. Nor a sense of decorum, apparently, since none of the guests had actually been invited to the
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5was an unfortunate name for an aspiring Green Party candidate from Texas. His campaign manager begged him to call himself William or Billy, but Bill O'Reilly wouldn't change
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3problem if he pissed off the wrong people. She was halfway down the block before the PM's body hit the ground. Before she could turn the corner, Lucy felt a strong hand grab her
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4topped the list. From her bleached blond hair to her over-inflated breasts to her french manicured toes, Pam was an affront to nature. But in a bikini
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2their pride. You see, it all started with the big cats. First the lions, then the tigers, cheetahs, and so on down the line. The problem with the Amway pyramid scheme for cats was
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5square in the diaper. The shitstorm that ensued was enough to drive everyone from the room. Those lucky enough to avoid the diarrhea couldn't escape the smell. It lingered like