Finished Folds (481—500)
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5It took 45 minutes to repace the filthy audience with a new one. The blood-stained one tried to shower it off, but the blood would never wash away. Never.
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4Zealots who'd shout all the slogans that any group of rabble rousers could muster. But their hearts weren't really in it. Ron Paul saw an opportunity the reach out to the netherwor
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3Willie: "Ball broth, huh? Now you're talking!" Alf shouted as Willie pulled off his own sweats, "Hey, I'm talking about gourmet, not scare-A!!" The laugh track malfunctioned and
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6Snagglepus do any sort of sexorcism, priest or not. I ran off to the Himilayas and joined some monks as their chef. They were not pleased with the hamburger helper. I was left
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4"Gauze and paws rhyme" was all I could muster. The ghost's visit had little effect on the prognosis after my stroke. I had so much to say on this Halloween, but couldn't quite get
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9vowel disorder. This, and chronic dry eye, were threatening the future of the planet. It was a wonder that civilization had gotten this far, what with all the restless leg syndrom
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7faux Tom Jones recordings that were really just auto-tuned white noise with a little night music mixed in.
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3automall, where they convined simple folk to buy shares in cars that were normally just out of their reach. This was really just a front for the TLF, the Tarzan Liberation Front
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4the one with the heavy eye makeup? Gran's inflection made it all sound the correct kind of sad and homey. Speaking of sad and homey, what the heck was Grandma wearing to the social
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4Mr. Bojangles decided hed needed an heir, someone to continue the kitty head tradition. Now you can vote weekly on TLC's Mr. Bojangles JR. 12 youngsters with sharpened guilliotines
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3Suzanna, Oh won't you cry for me?", we will both sing as our wrinkled bodies entwine for the final rapturous descent to the floor. We won't be able to get up, so we'll scream
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3"No, This Is CNN!" James Earl Jones was tired of all the buffoonery in his office and decided to set out on his own...in a galaxy far, far away. He figured he could make a killing
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4Somehow, my blindness sent me into a blind rage and I was able to lift the gorilla off of me. This made me the alpha male. Things calmed down and we went out for Starbucks
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2The hick got sick quick with a stick. His obvious bulemia was in sharp contrast to his stupid question. Blackapotamus Dragon. Became incensed and popped into the 10th demension
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5was at the local bookstore, signing copies of his book "Weeds". Of course, he was signing "The Devil" in fancy script, making the demon really mad. He grabbed Death's schythe and
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1his feet flet like hands. That is, until he moonwalked out the door into the turdmobile. There was a deafening roar (like in a silo) as the menure spontaneously dumped on him. Buck
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10pitched their folded stories to Hollywood. David Lynch became really excited. "These make more sense than my own work." A miniseries was ordered. Winona Ryder signed on as
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7Raised like fresh bread. The new superhero eschewed tights and instead wore two layers of gym shorts. One satin, one not.
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010 inches below the surface, malignant, but ready for the hootenanny. Oh. My. God. It was going to be SOOOOOO great! Everyone was bringing shovels and pushpins. Pushpins and horny
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0down to Cinnabon, you fat gorilla. There, make sure you say hi to Mr. Poodlemop. He has the real map of the mall, the one with the secret passages that make you cry out for jelly