1 Folds
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coffee aficionados in space "before it was cool." The only problem with the flying Astro-Starbucks was that -
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arriving to Liberia, I learned that Ebola didn't actually exist. I felt mighty foolish, having completed an entire week of medical school only to be Punk'D. I decided
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"You know I haven't yodeled since...the accident." He said continuing to board the train. The girl grabbed him by the shirtsleeve and said "I need you to compete with me, if you
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"Her body is like, totally gnarly. Like, in a good way." The surfer dude said. His friend, suddenly tired of the surf life, backhanded him across his sunkissed face.
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But to many, his name is Lucifer. Nobody ever suspected that the Devil traveled on horseback, but nobody could exactly see him driving a Prius either. He dismounted his steed,
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My transformation was the dream of every Furry who had ever lived, but I couldn't find it in me to accept my new life. Being a mouse was tough, especially being one named Jerry
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Step 7: Be that person at the dessert bar that takes the entire tray of lemon squares, leaving none for anybody else.
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Bill ripped off his uniform to reveal a labcoat. "Science rules," he whispered as he began his transformation into Bill Nye the Science Guy. "Your magic liquid is no match for my
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to feel a pang of sympathy for the arachnid. No wait, it wasn't sympathy - it was love. The spider looked at me with eyes as beautiful as the sunset, and I set the newspaper down.
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The woman, to his dismay, turned out to be diabetic. "How DARE you mock my condition," she gasped. Billy decided to find someone else to use a pickup line on, starting with
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After taking his shirt off, Putin continued to drink the entire bottle of vodka. "Weren't you supposed to teach me how to cook?" The President asked. Putin laughed and said
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"This is a porno, dude." Jenny sighed as a meaty bass riff echoed throuhout the room. His finger still reached toward the trigger, and the Glock was pointed toward the pizza man.
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him if the room was his sex chamber. The master could barely muster a smile. "Why don't you ask your mother?" I spontaneously combusted, unable to withstand being so badly roasted
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Jakob slurped down another bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle, and Souperwoman smiled mischievously as the naive boy overdosed on sodium. She truly was a Soupervillain.
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wasn't quite so lucky, and it had toppled to the ground during the earthquake. With nowhere to live and a number of outstanding bills to pay, I had no choice but to
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Food was scarce in the Wasteland. To my right sat my dog, and to my left sat my father. My eyes darted between them hungrily, and I knew that I had to make a choice.
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Gregor would emerge to listen to his sister play her violin. I didn't even know bugs had ears, but hey, the more you know. I waited by the door for him to scurry out, but
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a middle-aged woman named Peggie who thought I would "get along so well with her other dogs." Screw her, I was going to become the coolest dog on the block, starting with
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However, it turned out I didn't sleepwalk - I hardly even stirred in my slumber. What I saw on that footage was something much more sinister than I could have expected. It was
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felt so alive that he decided to snort heroin, but then had a Mia Wallace-style overdose on the floor. "Not again Bambi," Thumper the Rabbit said. Thumper's only option was to