The French have no idea of how to design anything practical. The hydraulic suspension on my Citroën was leaking again but I loved the car. I called it the Hatchback of Notre Dame

"and so I axed her what she did wid it and she say she donno," Placenta said.The detective held up his hand. "You say you axed her?" "Yeah, I axed her." And that is how Placenta

The gentleman requested the Claridge's door man to inform the carridge driver to make haste as he needed to be at Wellington Station to depart on the Orient Express at 3 pm sharp

Our caravan arrived at the gates of the ancient city of Ackhabha, we carried the most precious and dangerous treasure ever known to man. Maghrob, our leader spoke, "Behold the

hello. there. was. a boy. and he. was. really. cool. he did not. have a lot. of friends. he was there. to go out. but he didnt like anyone. whatever. so weird.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON". Tim shouted into the cold midnight air. Tim was going through a midlife crisis, which involved streaking and keeping chickens in his study. Yes,

The Space Dog Program was commanded by Major Woof. Early exploration by Laika and the Soviet Space Dogs had pioneered the way for dogs in space. Planet Chew_Toy was

I am the most worthless piece of shit ever to walk this earth. I don't deserve peoples time. I don't deserve help, so I'll just lay here, slicing my skin with rusty blades. I panic

It was time for the Bimillennial Dinosaur conference on Godwana. King Tyrranosaurus gave a fiery speech warning of the invasion of furry teeted night crawlers. Pantydraco laughed

You wait and see.This story will start off nice and sweet, with rainbows & unicorns, cute 'lil sea creatures & clever puns. But trust me, we'll eventually arrive at the bitter end.

I handed him the spanner and shined a torch on the problem. He picked up the wrench and looked where I had shined the flashlight. "Crisps?" I said as he took the chips I offered.

THE MAKING OF FOLDINGSTORY: THE MUSICAL. The singing evil helicoptor scene at the penultimate climax of Act II cost over seven billion dollars to film. They could've done $700, but

I was working late one night at work, when I went to the bathroom I found a stinky man taking a dump with the cubicle door open.

Gangrene had left Clementine with a limp. Well actually two limps - one to the left, one to the right. These rare double limps cancelled each other out. She seemed to glide.

Es el amor acaso una ilusión que no nos permite ver la realidad de la crueldad y lo macabro que es el mundo? Ésta quizá es la visión de alguien enfermamente desesperanzado

"Is that crocodile looking at me? I swear he just looked at me." I said as I nudged my friend next to me in the boat. "See, he just winked at me!" I said excitedly whilst pointing

I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says "shenanigans"!

Nobody expected the superhero vigilante to be a middle aged overweight housewife but Moira the Incredible was determined to rid the city of sexual predators and serial killers.

"Only the heart of the girl will show me you are loyal and deserving." Said the queen,with an evil glint in her eyes. The hunter didn't know how he would kill such beauty as

I sat on the pyramidion, easing my legs into my sleeping bag and applying war paint. Jeff said he once slid down all of the Great Pyramid in 48 seconds. Psh, child's play. No pads