His film career long in the shitter, Macaulay Culkin now spends his days forging horseshoe culkins, caulking video game level designs, and helping his dad's tile-caulking business.

Yesterday i spent a lot of time cutting out clippings from newspapers and magazines to make a collage for his birthday. I thought that would make him happy. But she decided to make

Eating only lentils for six years is actually pretty good for the guts, or so my doctor told me when I was finally released from observation. It was the protein sauce that had swol

Cow 35 & 36 faced one another & scooped dirt up on to their back with their hooves, snorted and banged their heads together locking horns. The crowd of farmers cheered

Nasa finally settled on the foop tube propulsion as a cost saving measure. Mr. Simpson had not passed the physicals until they looked at his cc gas/burito specs. The flight to mars

Shadows billowed across the patterned floor, concealing the dark figure who stood at the end of the hallway. Fear paralyzed me as I realized the sight of this figure had literally

"Elves? Are you serious?" Celeste looked across the meadow at the pointy eared humanoids. "I don't even like the taste of elves." Drak lower his bow, arrow knocked "Well, we have

I was sitting at the tip of the ifle tower and

Some one left a spider on my book bag, and then I...

It decesion time and my brain is turning into a big mush, with steam comming out of my ears so I,

By the time she could turn around i turn down the

Arianna stayed in one corner as she cried the whole afternoon. Her heart was crushed into a million pieces. He was gone and he would never come back.

It was a new day, with a new mission. My name is Agent P and I had to defeat the evil Dr. Doofensmerts and his new super evil evil machine. We got a tip that the machine

Of all the pies - apple, cherry, moon, even pigeon pie, there was but one pie that Bartleby longed for. It had ruined him for all other pastries. He would sit in math class, idly

The door opened in the ancient Abbey. The highly respected figure did not appear. Instead, there was a collective gasp as Tony Blair Witch entered

Machinery. He'd pay for it if it didn't make his gut empty, and heart ache.

Dad was grilling steaks in our back yard when three mean-looking drones transited our airspace. I went to get my drone-blaster, but Dad stopped me. He nodded toward their goal:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH CHEESE TURTLES

The postcard said: Meet me at the Bleeding Heart, Holborn. Don't wear a coat and bring the book with you - Dmitri.

All love stories are ghost stories.